Inappropriate Gift-Giving: Navigating Common Gifting Pitfalls

W ith gift-giving comes the potential for errors, including inappropriate gift-giving, which should be avoided to ensure the best gift is selected. It often comes as a surprise to consider the possibility of errors in gift-giving, as how can there be mistakes when the intention is to give? Although there are no universal rules for gift-giving, there are common pitfalls, particularly when it becomes more of an obligatory transaction than a personal, thoughtful gesture. The most frequent errors observed in gift-giving include the type of gift, its price, and the appropriateness of the gift. Choosing an appropriate gift is crucial. It should reflect the interests of the recipient rather than the giver. According to People.com, it states that 62% of Americans have lied about liking a gift that they got. This branches off to the reasonings as to why they didn’t like the gift, and the main one being that it was more so a gift that the other person would like, rather than themselves. This phenomenon is seen very frequently in television shows when a mother-in-law gives her daughter-in-law a gift and the daughter-in-law hates it, however, makes sure to display or have on the gift given by the mother-in-law whenever she’s around to please the mother-in-law. Studies have shown that out of 2,000 Americans, 52% will display the gift in their home before the arrival of the gift-giver. The majority of the time, the gift is not well-received because it aligns more with the interests of the gift-giver rather than those of the recipient, highlighting a common issue in bad gift-giving.

Are you looking for the perfect gift? Watch Our TED Talk!

Another case where the type of gift can be an error involves the actual gift itself not aligning with the occasion. This is often seen in instances of inappropriate gift-giving, especially when the gift-giver does not share a close relationship with the recipient. This distance in the interpersonal relationship can lead to choices that are not suitable for the occasion, setting the stage for an awkward gift exchange. For example, consider attending a baby shower of a mutual friend and giving a barbecue set. This would be a classic example of inappropriate gift-giving because it not only shows that the gift was chosen without much thought, but it also completely misaligns with the context of a baby shower. Social psychology suggests that transactional relationships are based on the expectation of reciprocation. When applied to a scenario where there is a distance between the giver and the recipient, the relationship becomes purely transactional, with individuals being self-serving and fulfilling an obligation rather than genuinely considering the recipient's interests or the appropriateness of the occasion.

Confused what to gift? Here’s How We Provide You Researched-based Gifts & Giveaways!

Another error of gift-giving, often leading to what can be termed as bad gift-giving, is the price of the gift that is being given. There are times when people fall into the narrative of buying expensive gifts for someone because they want to either show the other person how much they mean to them, or because they get an ego boost from giving an expensive gift. Regardless of the intention, this kind of bad gift-giving creates gift guilt for the recipient. As mentioned before, to avoid such pitfalls, it's crucial to ensure that the gift is appropriate and take other factors into account such as the occasion. Many times, even when there isn’t a specific occasion, the impulse to give can lead to overlooking the price of the gift. This experience is most common when gift guilt is present, as the gift is unexpectedly received. Thus, the recipient was not prepared to reciprocate; the gift was expensive, and they aren’t too fond of the gift itself, leading to feelings of indebtedness due to the high monetary value of the gift. Studies show that 46% of gift recipients have felt guilt when someone has gifted them a more expensive gift than they gave in return. This highlights the complexities and potential negative impacts of bad gift-giving. On the other end of the spectrum, there is also the concern of not wanting to give a cheap gift, further complicating the decision-making process.

Inappropriate gift-giving, such as choosing cheap gifts due to low price tags, can be an error. For instance, getting a gift solely due to the low price tag can lead to the quality of the gift not being that good or appropriate because the main focus of purchasing the gift was due to the price tag. However, there are cases where items do go on sale for a cheaper price, in that case, if all the other factors were considered, then there being an error in giving that as a gift is not significant. A lot of times cheap gifts can be an error in gift-giving because they can come across as inconsiderate and more self-serving to the giver of the gift than the recipient of the gift.

The errors of gift-giving can lead many down a cycle of bad gift-giving, however, once acknowledged and avoided, it can help make sure that the gift that is being given is appropriate and good. Even though the act of gift-giving is an expression of thoughtfulness and appreciation, it is important to have the gifts be able to deliver those intentions appropriately. Although there aren’t rules to gifts given, there are certain factors that need to be taken into consideration to avoid coming across any errors when giving gifts and to make sure it aligns with the intentions of the gift given. Whether it be a gift to someone very close in relation or someone distant, there are still errors that can come up and should be avoided when getting a gift. The recipient of the gift must be actually enthusiastic about the gift rather than faking the enthusiasm, thereby avoiding the pitfalls of inappropriate gift-giving.

Soha Rahman
Psychology Blogger,
The Shared Secrets Lab,
GiftAFeeling Inc.

Read The Official Research Paper On - Inappropriate Gift-Giving: Navigating Common Gifting Pitfalls