Psychology of Gift-Giving

Gift giving by definition

W hen we look at gift-giving solely for what it is we see that the common understanding of what it entails is centred around voluntary items given without a need for reciprocation. This could be in the form of a present or action given to honour a person, occasion or just provide assistance. Gifts are given to commemorate important life events, foster personal relationships, and encourage economic exchange. The power of a gift in itself can mean so many things to different groups of people while sending different messages such as "the status of a relationship, a promise of future interaction, or a statement of love, concern or domination" (Poe 1977). Thus, there seem to be some cultural norms and differences when we look at the way we interpret gifts and reciprocate them. The need to give may be rooted in religious or moral imperatives, this could be by just providing a gift that conveys a sense of status hierarchy where one can indicate the importance of someone or even provide them with a sense of acknowledgement to feel seen. A gift within the world of psychology could certainly be presented and understood in many ways "A gift is a ritual offering that is a sign of involvement in and connectedness to another" (Cheal 1987, p. 152). When someone works to give specific gifts that are well-thought-out they work to define the importance of the interaction. As they strengthen the bond that the people within that relationship have. Hence, gift-giving alone has the power to reflect both the giver and the receiver, as well as their unique relationship. Giving a gift to someone we care about allows us to express our feelings and gratitude to them. Meaning they work as a medium to a means of gratification, a way in which to help others reinforce or show feelings. That is their importance within the world of psychology. In situations where a gift is not as well thought out and one opts to provide money, simply as a gift, this can convey a variety of negative messages, such as a lack of effort while a practical gift given to a business associate communicates that the relationship is not intended to be close or intimate.

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What Motivates Gift-giving?

Marcel Mauss (1954) proposed a detailed evaluation of the gift-giving process. Within his research into gift-giving, he looked at several different isolated or primordial communities and concluded that gift-giving is a self-perpetuating system of reciprocity and broke down that there are three obligations which make up gift-giving. He stated that there is the obligation to give, receive, and repay. These motives become incorporated within the day-to-day norms of our society, to the point an individual is socially compelled to give in the right circumstances. While being on the receiving end we must be open to getting these gifts as this is what has been deemed socially acceptable. Not receiving a gift creates conflict, and Mauss credited this to the fact that someone accepting a gift may seem as accepting that they are dependent on the giver, that they rely on and need this gift and thus this view weakens their social status. Therefore, he says to mitigate this tension that gifts bring we opt to repay the gift in the way we feel is adequate and failure to do so creates a sense of low self-esteem as one accepts their loss of status. This creates a cycle of repeated actions and provides a guide to the system in which gift-giving occurs in our day to day life. We see such attitudes in workplaces or new relationships where gifts are bought with caution where the price is matched in hopes of not overdoing it or creating pressure on others where buying an extremely expensive gift may send mixed signals.

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Gift-giving not only feels great for those who are receiving the gifts but to those who provide the gifts as a smile on a face or even the sense of satisfaction that is met with the seeing expressions given by those who have received gifts. We would hope that gifts are given out solely to help, and fulfil the needs of others but a lot of gift-giving is done to fulfil the needs of the giver, a gift is sometimes easily used as a form of inevitable debt, one that must somehow be repaid in an equal way as Mauss(1954) states. Barry Schwartz(1967) continued this idea of inevitable debt with his writing and theorising of gift-giving reciprocity and showed that it was based on “deliberative justice” He explains that "a gift-giver will experience discomfort if reciprocity does not occur," but they will also be uncomfortable if they have been given flawless reciprocity”. Where in the situation you gave someone a gift and they emphasize paying back the true price of the present in cash. As a result, each gift has an effect on the amount of relationship debt without ever cancelling it out. Stating that in a relationship there is a constant imbalance of debt between the people in the relationship and this is what motivates the giving to continue as in one case a gift is reciprocated with payment then another gift could be offered later in the form of an act. This continuous cycle is what strengthens relationships as a whole and highlights the importance of gift-giving in relationships to ensure gratitude constitutes the continuation of the relationship.